Questions

You take one step towards future from the present and several things happen. Your present becomes past. The fears of change and future are allayed. The mind is filled with excitement and heart is filled with new memories of something which has just morphed into being the past from present.

Why is it that you always long to go back in time and live the days of past again. When you are in college, you always long to go back to school days. Suddenly the prayer halls which you never liked to attend while you were in school start looking charming, lovely and innocent. Why is it that the school teachers whose lectures were terribly boring, you start missing them? The chirping of students around in the class, playground all looks very rosy and distant.

I miss my school days most. Whenever I try to remember my college days, I never have many memories. It's always studying on those lawns, or those haunting lab assignments or one or two events that I had participated in. But they are all there because they are part of my past. Not because they are special to me. I never feel that thrill or long to re-live them.

And I have this question today that why is it that most of the times you think that you were much happier in the past. You always say 'Good Old Days'. Have you ever heard someone saying 'Good Present Days'? Sounds odd, doesn't it?

The event that instigated this question in my mind is that suddenly I realized, I wanted to go back to UofA! It's been just five days in the industry and I miss a hundred things already from my grad school days. I want to get up at 10 in the morning like old days. I want to be able to go to sleep at 3 at night. I want to go to library in shorts. All of a sudden the formal clothes start feeling clumsy on my body. I would rather go back to my attire of jeans and a T. This really amazes me because I have always loved wearing formal clothes. May be the reason is because I have to press them before wearing and it's such a laborious task.

The most annoying thing in the present is to have to shave alternate days. There was a time during grad school when I used to shave once in a week and could afford that unkempt look. An old T with worn out jeans and carelessly parted hair and grown facial hair. This was the look not very unfamiliar to me in those days.

It is really marvelous to think about this! I could never imagine that I would recall my days at UofA and even more I would even long to re-live them! This really astonishes me.

Is it that we never appreciate the beauty of present because we are too busy dealing with our day to day lives. We are afraid of the future. But when the present becomes past, we are carefree. Because it is never going to affect our lives. Those days, places, events are all past. You don't have to worry about them now. Whereas the present, it is still there. The actions we take are going to decide the future. They are going to make an impact on our tomorrows. That's why we are always very cautious and worrying about what will happen next if I do this or that.

Only if we had the powers to know the future, we might be able to appreciate the beauty of present.